Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize