ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
