Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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