you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
