you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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