This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
if only i could text you this smell
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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