just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
