Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
