I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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