"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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