I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
