don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
