i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
