Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
