Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
