I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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