why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
