But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
