porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
false alarm, still single
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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