So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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