My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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