get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Someone came in the potted fern
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
