Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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