I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
