How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize