That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
