handjob tips. give me some.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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