I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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