That's intense
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i dont even know how to be here
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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