You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
