Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
