Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
