U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
