I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
