I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
