now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
