and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
