Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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