Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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