Swine flu is the new snow day.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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