my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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