The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
