Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
