She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
