i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
