There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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