there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
