I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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