you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize