Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
a search helicopter?!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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