after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
