i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
