i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
