I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and she was petting her beer can
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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