My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
