she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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