you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
What a dumb baby whore.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize