just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
