my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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