break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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