Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
