You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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