I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
