I CAN MOONWALK!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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