dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
