HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize